Bad Mom or Bad Nanny?

My nanny friend is mad at me. Did I do something wrong? I am a nanny too and she got me a part time job with her NF, neither one of us can work full time. I should not have taken the job because she is always complaining and even in tears sometimes over the actions of her MB. So s few weeks  ago the MB royally cheats me out of about $90 and I quit. I went on a  a private FB group to vent my feelings and it got back to the MB. She has not fired my friend but she is verbally harassing her and has even cursed at her because of what I wrote. My friend is blaming me. Is it not ok to vent my feelings when I am the one cheated and did nothing wrong?


Wants to be a nanny

hi I'm new here!
I'm not currently a nanny, but I'm hoping to be in the near future! I'm looking for some kind of nanny school/training program to give me that extra "umph' and set me apart. I have plenty of childcare/babysitting experience, I just want to take it one step further. any tips and advice would be appreciated!! :)


Missing Nanny. Please read and post everywhere and anywhere!

SS here, This post was found on FB. Please read and share wherever you can!! Let's help bring this Nanny home!

Please help and share this post. This is my wife, Jen House Fulford. She went missing this morning, Sept 27th, around 9 am in Winter Park Florida. Her purse was found on the floor at her employer's house where she works as a nanny. Her boss called the police when she failed to pick up his son. She drives a 2014 Bronze Hyundai Santa Fe with Florida license plate# IKZB52. Her first granddaughter was born today and she is not responding to any text or phone calls. She was planning to fly to Dallas tomorrow to meet her new grandchild. She would never disappear like this. If you have any information about her please message me or contact the Winter Park Police Department at 407-644-1313. Her case number is 2017CJ015432. Please share this post.


I am shocked- I goofed up the caterers' tip!

I was late for 1 hour to my MB's  event - a 3 hour event on a weekend at her country club, it was a good excuse, car related - and never been late in 3 years,  BUT - the event was at a major country club, My MB made sure to NOT TIP the workers at the CC - and they told me so,blamed on me. I am going into my savings to tip them, but I am wondering...


Dear Abby gives advice to Nannies...

The Daily Journal Online

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old college graduate who has been unable to find a full-time teaching job, so I'm working as a teaching assistant. My salary is less than average, and between rent, bills and student loans, I am stretched more than thin.

Recently, a woman has been talking to me about nannying for her child after school. She'd like to hire me and have me meet her child in person, and we agreed on an hourly rate. I was excited about the opportunity and looking forward to starting.

This week she told me she wants to report my work for her on her taxes, which means I'll have to report as a freelancer and pay estimated quarterly taxes while I work for her. Abby, this is unheard of in the baby-sitting world! I have been baby-sitting from my preteens all the way through college, and never once have taxes ever been part of the conversation.

My mother says I shouldn't be upset because the woman is doing what she's supposed to as far as the IRS is concerned, but I feel shortchanged. Shouldn't she have been upfront about her intentions when we discussed my hourly rate? Am I wrong for asking her for more money per hour to make up for some of the taxes? -- AFTER-SCHOOL NANNY

DEAR NANNY: William R. Turner, CPA, says your mother is correct. Your prospective employer is obeying the law. She wants you to meet her child, negotiate an hourly rate and hire you as a NANNY, not as a baby sitter. Your new employer should have you fill out a form W-4 and pay you as an employee. Because payroll deductions will be taken out of your gross pay by your new employer, you should negotiate your hourly rate accordingly.

Need our readers opinions, do you think this is true or not?

Hi All,

SS here, and as we have told you in the past, we will post virtually everything that that is sent to us. Here is one we are not so sure about. Do any Nannies out there really have it this good?

So I got a position and have been here for 4 months. I get paid 70,000 a year for 3 kids, and do not work more than 35 hours a week. I get double my pay if and when I travel with them, own room/suite, spending money, food and a rental car if I want. I get 15 PTO days, plus an extra 2-3 weeks off if they travel and I don't go with them. ( Still paid of course). I also get a credit card with a credit limit of 50,000 on it if I want to buy lunch and dinner everyday, and if the kids need something. There is a yearly bonus and I get full access of their pool, and the gym they have downstairs in their home. I am very grateful. but wanted to hear what other people thought.

Nanny asks you.. "What do I do?"

I quit my last position about a month ago- I left on good terms. I am able to see the boys when I want to. I was asked to babysit the boys overnight in a few weeks and of course I said yes. Last Weds I went over there to babysit all day (their sitter had called in sick). The children are 3 years and 10 months old. I was with the 3 year old from 5 1/2 months till just after he turned three. I went over there and was shocked at the 3 year olds behavior. He think physically hurting someone (especially his baby brother) is fun and allowed. He shoves, head butts, kicks, etc. He thinks it fun and a way to release angry. His parents are clueless (one reason I left the full time position). His dad told me (only seen family one other time since I left)- he does this all the time. They do speak to him about it but don't follow through with discipline. I don't want to go back. I left that day with a bruise on my back because this child head butts and I don't want the baby to get hurt while under my care. What do I do?


Scary Storms.

The last few weeks have been quite hard on everyone in the southern states with the hurricanes and storms.

What do you do to sooth the children you work with when they have anxiety about a storm?

Are You A Nanny? Know A Nanny? Survey of Nannies

Do you employ a nanny? Are you a nanny? Have a friend of a friend of a friend who is a nanny? Have them fill out the survey!

Goal? To know what life as a nanny is like and to help guide people to be better employers.

Nannies in Brooklyn (or beyond) please take a minute to fill out this survey. At the end of the survey you'll be taken to a page where you can enter your email to win a $50 gift card. Please note that your answers are CONFIDENTIAL so you can tell us exactly what you think and feel!

THANKS in Advance!

Susan Fox
The Nanny Survey Team

Nanny Notes!

Hi All,

SS here.  I thought it might be helpful to have some of our Nanny's share some "Helpful Hints".

What are some of your best practices?  

ie: easiest way to get a child to eat their meal?   get them to sleep?  share their toys?

What are your Nanny Notes?


BAD Parent Sighting - A Tragedy Waiting To Happen ( We Hope Not)

A woman who seems to be the mother of 2 kids, a 3 year old girl and a very young infant, endangers them on a regular basis at 610 and Beechnut in Houston. The woman uses the kids to get attention for panhandling. Reports by witnesses say that the little girl runs into traffic and has caused a fender bender. The girl and mother ( we assume ) are regularly picked up by a man in a late model white SUV. They seem to do well on the money. Witnesses  say they have called the police and CPS to no avail. (Pics are coming)

Best way to give notice?

Hi! Just wanted to hear suggestions on how to give notice. I've been with current family for two years. I have been through really rough time. I've recently burned out. I got sick about 5 times in the last four months. I have zero energy. I think I'm completely zapped out. I live near NYC and they only paid $14.50 for two kids. No TV. Not type of entertainment and drop off and pick ups'when oldest is in school.

Now, starting next month the youngest is going to school. They offered part time and only $15.50. I have to commute by either driving or public transportation. They're only offerinf about 20 hrs a week too. So I decided to look somewhere else. I did get offered a position at a preschool. I'm going to take it because I just felt like these people took advantage of me and want to be cheap. I always went above and beyond. The kids are ok, but hit and abused me for a while. The mom wanted me to always have them outside and take them to various things A DAY. She couldn't stand see me home sitting down. She purposely took nap time away because they would fall asleep too "late". A MESS. Most of the days the job was OK. I just feel like I need change and be appreciated it more. Especially since I am college educated and it shows on how much the kiddos know.

I'm thinking of giving three weeks notice at the end of the week. Thanks !


Question from a Nanny.

Hey guys, I have some questions. I just got offered a position as a nanny for $10/hr for 50 hours a week, after quitting a hospital job 4 months ago. I'll be watching 1 toddler and if i have to watch the other kids (2 more) it will be $13/hr. The family is paying cash off the books. Has anyone else worked off the books? If so was it short term? Did you ever have issues with IRS? If I try to work with an agency later on will they hold it against me that I have no proof of employment, besides the parents' word?

Gift Ideas Please!

My son has been with his current nanny for 3 years. She just had a baby in October and due again in November! Plus she has a toddler. We mutually decided my son should head to a PreK program and I would like to do something wonderful for her to thank her for all she's done for my son and I. What are some gift ideas? We have done spa items, gift cards to movies and restaurants.... I would love to find a sentimental children's book about friends forever or something to that effect and flowers? Any ideas?

QUESTION OF THE DAY!! How do you get a child to sleep?

How do you get a child to sleep?

Here are some answers from a mothers group.

We have been dealing with this and FINALLYYYY solved the problem. 30 minutes before bedtime we give him LUNA Melatonin pills and we reversed the lock on his door to face the hall! Took a week before he quit! But it worked!

Lavender in a diffuser... And lock the door. My friends daughter did the same thing and would fall asleep at the door for a few nights until she realized that she wasn't going to win the fight to get out of the room.

Yep- we give melatonin before bed too. Really works. Also- when you are putting her back to bed- do not interact with her. It's time- says it's time to go to bed, every time after that, just put her back to bed and say nothing. I also take away their favorite blanket, stuffed animal etc and that seems to help.

I started tart cherry juice and diffusing lavender or Doterra serenity in her room over melatonin option.

Cut down on nap and lock the door. I had to or mine wouldn't ever fall asleep! We unlock after he's fallen asleep just in case he needs us

We use an app called "Calm" and they have sleep stories. At first that helped but now she wants me to lay with her. I give her a time limit or if she gets up I leave. Lately we have been telling her to listen to the story and tell me the ending tomorrow. That has been working so well this past week. I remember this phase with my son and looking back it was short lived. Good luck!

Tell us your tips and tricks!


Bad Nanny siting Riverside Park

Nanny dark skinned )Jamaican?)blue shirt and small girl pink top in riverside park. Nanny was very aggressive with the child for no reason. Loud yelling and physically abusive

Nanny need advice!

Hello, I hope I receive some advice. I provide childcare for 2 families. It's a part time job and receive payment in cash from both families. I am being audited by the state of Maryland. They are requesting that I provide address and social security numbers from these families. I asked them if they are willing and of course they are very hesitant to do so. I have never gave them my social security number. Thank you!



Not Good Child Sighting - with John Quinones

" What would you do? " just had an interesting episode in which a child actor pretended to talk down to and even threaten the nanny. In the toy store the actor said things like " You have to do what I say, I pay you" and " You're just the nanny, you don't mean anything, buy me this toy or i will have you fired " etc. They showed a mother telling the child actor "How would you feel? She is a person."  And one patron cried for the nanny's hurt feelings, another lady tracked down the child's "mom" another actress and discussed it. Has a child ever crossed the line from just being a child into really wrong/demeaning behavior? What is the best way to handle it?

What would you do?


Bad Nanny Sighting Harry Chapin park - Brooklyn, NY

Very unprofessional nanny, put her hand on my child and not in a friendly or helpful way. This event took place at Harry Chapin park which we frequent on a weekly basis.

This nanny was very unprofessional to say the least. She put her hand on my son and that's where I draw the line. I'm all for the village raising a kid but not when you handle a child in a demeaning unfriendly way and trying to yank a truck from under him while yelling at him "why are you playing with both trucks?!!!" this happens right in front of me and I am in utter disbelief that it's really happening. The child in her care runs up to my son to take the truck from him and my three-year old son pushes him away. The child loses his balance and falls on his butt. I walk over to pick him up to make sure he is fine, and he is. As I was about to talk to my son to have him come over to apologize, the nanny goes straight for my son while she's yanking at the truck from under him, she yells at him, "WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH BOTH TRUCKS?!!!" when my son wouldn't let go of the truck, she starts yanking at his arm. I tell her "don't to touch my son!" Then she proceeds to yell at me. I'm amazed at how instantly angry she is and I ask her, did my son personally hurt you? While she's hovering on top of me, she starts yelling at me, way too close to my face. She then grabs her child and while carrying him, she yells at me and says, "get that shit under control! Take care of that shit!" I was both flabbergasted and appalled. I should've called the cops but my son was crying and I felt I needed to take ourselves from the situation because she was so angry and getting so close to my face. I took her picture and once she saw me take a picture she decided to take her picture or video of me, She puts her phone very close to my face and my son's face. I do have her name and phone number from a business card she's been passing around to other nannies. Her name is Tara W. When I asked other nannies if they know her, they didn't hesitate to give me her info. So I have her name and number but it doesn't really help me find her employers. I'm told I can file a police report but I would much rather have her employers tell her that she is not allowed to touch other children or speak to any parent or child in a disrespectful manner. She also needs to control her temper and anger and be professional most especially while their son is under her care. It's not healthy for their child or other children to constantly be exposed to so much anger.

I'm also posting in other mommy sites in the neighborhood as well.

Even if she was having a bad day, I don't understand why she thinks it's okay to touch other people's kids that way or speak to anyone in that manner. I'm not sure what else to do.


HELP PLEASE!! What do I do?

I am in a rough situation and I know I'm my heart the right thing to do. I know also what you are all going to say.. but here it goes.. the family I have been a nanny for has been really upsetting lately. Things have just gone south. Things are the same as they were when I first started 2 1/2 years ago.
Parents have become rude and crude. Mom is consistently embarrassing me and talking down to me or about his oldest. One time she took a 6oz baby bottle off the drying rack and found formula still inside (after she "washed it"). She put it into the sanitation bag and cleaned it that morning. I used the 4 oz bottles and didn't touch it all day.

I'm not allowed to suddenly take kids out. One time- mom didn't have an address for me to meet her I was calling from my cell phone in the car- trying to get to the doc office that I didn't know where it was and I got lost. After trying to call her 100 times- my cell died in the car. I went home in tears.

Bosses are always late. My position starts and ends at 7am/6pm. I understand that they have the occasional traffic/car troubles but this is everyday I don't get to leave before 6:30/6:45. Sometimes, especially with dad, around 7pm.

A couple weeks ago- mom had picked up C from school (the oldest- he just turned 3 years) he came home screaming/crying for mom to play with him. Also found out (next day) that oldest wanted to take his mom out for coffee. C wanted to spend time with her. Anyway, mom had to finish her work in home office. Had to be on call. Mom was so upset. "I have to get on this call- its so important- S (me the nanny) will you please just f&$@in feed him (child gets symptoms of low blood sugar and can get really upset) so he stops being an a$&. I was so upset!! She has no control over her kid.

The oldest has hit his baby brother- right in front of me and mom (as we were talking). I said C you are in time out and mom says time outs are a joke to him (child) I count... Um thanks for telling me and what does counting do? Oldest is very sweet and loving. Super smart. But mom let's him get away with everything. He has bit me and times out work wonders for me. I never have an issue afterwards. I've tried to talk to my bosses and nothing is being resolved. (I get nothing but blame and mind your business attitude from boss- like she so frustrated with me...

I have a chance to leave this position this week. I was offered a fabulous job with a lot more money. I would have to start next week. I love the boys I currently work with and have not told my bosses yet- I know it will end ugly. I don't want to do this with the boys- I have a bond with them. This thought is killing me.. but when you have bosses that treat you like crap....Help!!