Monday

Great Kids Sighting

I am a nanny, I have been following the blog for about a year and I feel bad sometimes when I see nannies dealing with problem children and parents as I am lucky with my NF. I don't know if this is allowed, but I want to tell a positive story about my NF. The family I work with love animals and rescue ANYTHING - fish, cats, dogs, birds - even a lizard and a caterpillar. I am nannying to work through veterinary school and my female charge, almost 7, wants to be a vet too! Well, one of her mother's friends who specializes in cat rescue found a cat in her yard wounded without an eye,right jaw harmed - the conclusion of the vet was sad - the cat had been attacked and left for dead by bad humans. My mini-me, I will say her first name - Shaunie- and the NF brought the cat - Maity ( like a pirate) back to life, Maity forgave humans and goes out with Shaunie to play with all the kids outside ( and share their lunches which is another story). So last week as we three - Shaunie, Maity and I were on the porch and several neighborhood kids rode up on their bikes with a question - they wanted to know what had happened to Maity ( Maity's appearance in the face is something that you have to get used to) I watched my mini-me hold forth on what the bad people did and how important it was to care about animals. All her friends were listening carefully. Before they all rode off I said   " You guys are ALL good kids to care about animals, and I  want each one of you to tell your mom and dad I said so! They all nodded seriously and rode off. There is hope for the nanny world !

Sunday

Rant - You Have To Be Carefully Taught

I am really mad and if anyone thinks I did the wrong thing I don't want to hear it! I am from Guadalajara and my two charges,little girls 8 and 6 are African-American. At the playground 3 days ago a boy, about 6, used a very inappropriate word which starts with N. He was up on the slide and when my 2 charges ran over giggling  to climb up the slide he looked at them with an angry look and said what he said.I had heard it and my mouth was open, my 8 year old charge in particular was upset and confused, and wanted to know why he said that. I walked right over to the boy, told him I heard what he said and that it was very hurtful and wrong and I insisted strongly that he apologize to the two girls. He looked very sheepish and whispered "sorry". Then his mother and older brother came over and I told them firmly what happened, the older brother said something like " leave him alone, he can say what he wants" and the mother refused to address the issue of the horrible word he used and said " I will discipline my child, you are not allowed to speak to him." When we got home I told MB what happened and we had a familiar discussion with her girls like - "ignorant people and words do not define you, you can be anything ever you want."What is WRONG with some people?

Saturday

Job Creep Revisited


(Editor's Note :This Post is a clarification of the post directly below this one, the question to the Original Poster was - " How did your NF institute JOB CREEP ? "

The parents began leaving dirty laundry everywhere, in the washer and dryer throughout the downstairs hallways etc. I would come in every morning and pots and pans from dinner with crusted food would be piled high in the sink. Dad began to 'work from home" which meant sitting on the couch all afternoon watching youtube videos while the pile of dishes he made there grew. Granted I was getting paid whether he was at the office or there on the couch but can you see my frustration given the scenario? This dirty dish problem caused me to struggle making breakfast and packing lunches for my charges.

MB worked as a nurse practitioner and the other doctors' children would come over for "playdates" and when I arrived for my shift they would stay until " mom got off her shift" so essentially I was nannying 2 extra kids without pay or notice. I was contracted to leave at 3pm on Tuesdays which became 4 or 5 without notice. Dad would come home and I would be sent home via phone by MB and she explained she would write my check "tomorrow". This happened again on a Friday and I refused to leave until MB came home and wrote my check. Having explained all that,the kids were great, my salary was very good and my vacation days were generous. I did have a discussion with MB about these problems which had no effect.

(Editors note again: for new readers, this anonymous nanny's question is - should she use the above MB as a reference? She worked for them almost 2 years)

Thursday

Mary Poppins Returns!!!



I am currently a preschool teacher at a wonderful non-profit which is inclusive but primarily caters to low-income families and provides early intervention services. I have been working here for a year and a half and have reached my point of burnout. For many reasons associated with the typical challenges a preschool teacher faces there are other difficulties that have led to job burnout and exhaustion including excessive paperwork, meetings and workplace politics. I came to this position with the hope that it would help build my resume, give me more experience and be a stepping stone towards my plans for the future. I am realizing that being burnt out and constantly exhausted is actually counterproductive in working towards my goals, completing my degree and just being content in general. I am ready to find a great family again and get back into nannyworld!

Prior to this job I was a full-time nanny to a great family for nearly two years. The children were amazing and we were very close to me however job creep began to be more of a daily occurrence. I was burnt from this job and wanted to get back in the classroom for all reasons stated above. During the summer of 2016, the family had gone on vacation, providing a paid week off for myself (as agreed to in our contract). The school I work at now had called me back during this week for an interview. It came out of left field since I had applied several weeks before and heard nothing. I went on the interview, landed the job and thought I was on my way toward a rewarding career. Needless to say, I didn't have many options and the new job was not willing to negotiate a longer notice and I had to start the job at a specific date. This left me with giving my notice to my NF via email over vacation. I understand this is not ideal but was the best option at the time. I gave a full two weeks notice however given their vacation dates it was not a complete two weeks. I fulfilled the last of my job duties to the best of my ability and with complete respect for my NF. Although the last couple weeks were tense (understandably so) I am confident in the care I provided for all three children during that time. I had a respectable and professional rapport with both parents, more so DB and often found MB to be on the colder side.

Anyway, I have blabbed on because I'm hoping to give insight into my situation to seek advice for going to another nanny position. I have letters of recommendation and a reliable list of references however I am nervous that my last MB will give a poor reference based on how I left the position. I'm not sure if I should even approach her asking for her to be a reference. I am not looking for judgy commentary, I am fully aware that it wasn't the most professional or best way to leave a position. At the time I thought it was going to be a perfect opportunity for my life and I went for it. I had never left a position (nanny or anywhere else in the field of education) in such an abrupt way and still feel slightly guilty about this. Any suggestions in how to approach and handle this as I search for a new nanny position and go on interviews would be greatly appreciated. Given that this is my most recent nanny position I assume prospective employers would want to speak with last MB and I am at a loss....



Thanks in advance!

Christian Denmon, A Prominent Atty., Teaches About Child Abuse


Preventing child abuse can be difficult, especially since we often feel helpless against widespread abuse. So we created this one-stop guide to promote child abuse prevention by compiling a complete list of resources as an information gateway. We have included tips to educate adults around children, information about the different causes and forms of abuse, and how to respond when you suspect child maltreatment.

Tuesday

More WAHM Hell

I work with a WAHM and my issue involves feeding time. Babies, twins, are 11 months today. M was having a meltdown because she did not like what I served for lunch, while A ate his quickly and wanted more. Since the main part of the meal was gone I gave him fruit, which M wanted right away. MB came flying in and hugged M, told her it was ok, and I should have waited till M was done with main course before serving fruit. A was hungry and getting upset. I ended up serving M another meal. I am trying to teach the twins to eat what is put in front of them, and getting no respect from the mother. This is sent from my Iphone, I hope it makes sense.

Thursday

This is BEYOND my paygrade!!

I have been a nanny for over 4 years finding all my jobs on care.com .I recently accepted a pet sitting job from a family I know personally. The job was to stay (live) in their house for a week while they went on vacation and take care of two dogs.. For this i would be paid $500. After I committed to this I found out their 40 year old son (jack) still lives at home. before you ask, he can't take care of the dogs as he is too irresponsible. This made me uncomfortable but I needed the money and made the commitment and still came to do the job as promised.The first night I get off my day job and come to my pet sitting job to find jack half dressed and unconscious ( drunk) on the living room floor. However this was a holiday and I gave him the benefit of the doubt that it would not happen again.

Fastforward to the end of the week, now the couple has realized that their vacation is going a little longer, 4 more days, 11 days total. I tell them this is fine and I will continue to take care of their dogs as usual until they return. Last night I come home to find jack in the living room, he tells me he is dying. Thinking he is speaking figuratively, I asked him if he was sick. He then proceeded to tell me that he is not sick, he is in fact dying because he just attempted suicide by injecting himself with large amounts of drugs and drinking large amounts of alcohol, and shows me needle marks on his arms. I used my judgement and decided to call 911. The paramedics took him to the hospital where they told his parents I in fact saved his life. Now he will be in the hospital on suicide watch until they return.

My question is - How can I politely ask for a raise? Honestly with the stress and the added hours I feel like I should be paid DOUBLE what I agreed to originally, but I feel uncomfortable asking for such a higher amount than we agreed to. Also, if it matters I was paid cash up front for the job. So the family is thinking I have been paid. How can I ask for more money when they return if justified? Thank you

Tuesday

Stupid Mom sighting - hopefully no tragedies in future

Been reading the blog a long time, I am a nanny, and never thought I would post, but I saw something really bad an hour ago that worries me if not infuriates me

At a Whole Foods in Texas I was waiting to use the restroom and in the waiting area was a little blond boy in a red shirt hopping on his feet and kicking the door to the bathroom. I thought ok, that's weird for a mom to leave their kid out of the stall in a closed small waiting room next to a janitor's closet. I said - is your mom in there?  he mumbled seemingly  "no", hopping obviously needing to use the restroom. I started thinking - this is totally uncool, we are in a very small closet for a unisex bathroom, someone is in that bathroom, this kid is by himself, and there is also a small closet here also. What if I was a bad criminal? I am female but females steal kids ! I was JUST about to open the closet door - WHICH IS RIGHT NEXT TO A BAR ! - and start making a scene when the mom, with 2 blond young girls opened the door, saying his name - what are you doing in here? I said - This is not a good place for him to be by himself! It's a unisex bathroom next to a closet with a small enclosed little room! I was about to take him to store security! The mother in a very sweet little voice said " Thank you!" and at that moment - A BIG BURLY SECURITY GUARD  came out of the bathroom, the kid ran into it - the mother said -hurry up - and did not go in with him! I stood with the door to the bar OPEN so anyone could see into the area outside the bathroom and when he came out I said - do you see your mom? He said yes, I said - Don't run where your mom can't see you! I am really not happy, that was so dangerous !

DIGITAL KIDKNAPPING!




By Mindy Raye Friedman

Many parents love to share pictures of their little ones online so that family and friends can see how they are growing up. But unfortunately grandmas and your best friends aren't the only people on the Internet. There are some scary people out there who want to use those cute snapshots of your children for their own purposes. Here are just some of the ways your children's photos are being used online and why you should think twice before posting your child's photos for the whole world to see.

Read: Why you are the most powerful person on the Internet
BABY-ROLE PLAYING

A new trend on social media, baby-role playing involves users posting a photo of a baby or child they find online and pretending the photo is of their child. This has especially become popular on Instagram, but it crops up on other social media sites as well. Some of these users are creating entire fictional families as they pretend to be the parent of a child or children who aren't really theirs. They post about things the baby is doing or how cute they are, and then their followers play along by commenting on the photos. There are even Instagram accounts that will post a photo of a child with his or her made-up information, pretending the child is available for adoption. Do a search for hashtags like #babyrp, #kidrp, #openrp, or #adoptionrp and you will see thousands of these posts. And while there is no actual physical danger to your child if someone uses one of your photos for role-playing, it's still disturbing to think someone might be digitally kidnapping your child.

Read more...

No Nannies On Social Media?? Really?




Michelle Ruiz Andrews <ruizmichelleann@gmail.com>
Nov 2 (5 days ago)

to me
Hi ISYN -

I'm a writer working on a story for the New York Times' Style section about nannies and social media: I've noticed you don't often see nannies on Instagram or Facebook, so I am asking parents why not. (And for those few who do post photos of their nannies, I am asking they why they do). I'm not making a judgement necessarily—but observing this wrinkle in our digital world. As someone who runs a site all about nannies, do you have thoughts on this and might you be willing to be
quoted?

Please let me know? Thanks so much.

Best,

Michelle Ruiz Andrews
--------------------------------

Quitting Monsters While Staying On Good Terms - Is It Possible?




I have been working with my NF for over a year. MB and DB are great! I’ve never had a problem with them. On the other hand, the kids have made me not want work with kids anymore, or even have children of my own. But, I would rather not start a rant on them, because this isn’t what my question is about. The point I want to get to is that I am now looking for a new job. How do I tell MB and DB, as well as the nanny company through which I work for them, that this isn’t for me anymore? I want to stay on the best terms possible. Also, how do I go about using MB/DB/the company as a reference for my new job search? Can I use them? Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks

J

Wednesday

DREAM JOB VS TOXIC SITUATION - ADVICE NEEDED!


I have been with my family for 3 months.
The position is not what I thought it would be. I interviewed when the first time parents were pregnant and told me how they planned to raise their baby. I agreed with them on this as it fit my style of nanny-big/education. Now that baby is here, they have 180-ed. Baby is held for every nap. No routine or schedule whatsoever. Not allowed to bring baby on outings.

Mom is extremely demeaning and doesn't ever let me talk about this. Always says aww well it's too much, you don't have to do that and NEVER lets me get a word in. I am 26 and treated like a 13 year old.

I just can't even stand this family anymore. I'm so annoyed by them, depressed from sitting inside 9.5 hours a day and making $8/hr.

I just got offered my dream job in marketing and it will allow me to finish school.

HOWEVER- contract states we both must give 6 weeks notice. The marketing job needs me to start in 3.

I don't want to give the full 6 weeks. I'm feeling really bad about screwing an entire family Over but also have to do what's best for me.

Honest advice and input?


Bad Nanny Sighting



Hello,


This young child was left in the stroller with the dog attached for several minutes around 2:45 p.m. on Oct. 5 on Bleecker St. in the West Village while the nanny shopped at a bodega.



Nanny Question about pay



HELLO,

I recently applied for a position through care.com. On their profile they listed a rate of $15-$20/hour.

During the phone interview everything went fantastic and we schedule a follow up in person. During this interview (1.5 hours long) we re approached the pay and they stayed their budget was much lower. Almost $14/hr. I noted may last job paid me $18 and they were able to come up a little to ????????$715/week for 47.5 hours. That breakdown is $15/hour. So still do-able but much lower than i was hoping.

My question is, how should I approach vacation, PTO + holidays. I think the because the rate is lower than expected they should offer a generous package there.

However I will be paid off the books, so I don't believe they are required to do any of this.

They are a friendly and totally kind family, who are new parents and I think just new to hiring a nanny- so I would like to go into our next meet. Which is dinner at their house tonight, to get to know the space and hang with their child more, as a time to bring up concerns on Vacation Pay, PTO, Sickdays etc before fully accepting any position.

Thoughts?

Thursday

Bad Mom or Bad Nanny?

My nanny friend is mad at me. Did I do something wrong? I am a nanny too and she got me a part time job with her NF, neither one of us can work full time. I should not have taken the job because she is always complaining and even in tears sometimes over the actions of her MB. So s few weeks  ago the MB royally cheats me out of about $90 and I quit. I went on a  a private FB group to vent my feelings and it got back to the MB. She has not fired my friend but she is verbally harassing her and has even cursed at her because of what I wrote. My friend is blaming me. Is it not ok to vent my feelings when I am the one cheated and did nothing wrong?

Wednesday

Wants to be a nanny

hi I'm new here!
I'm not currently a nanny, but I'm hoping to be in the near future! I'm looking for some kind of nanny school/training program to give me that extra "umph' and set me apart. I have plenty of childcare/babysitting experience, I just want to take it one step further. any tips and advice would be appreciated!! :)

Thursday

Missing Nanny. Please read and post everywhere and anywhere!

SS here, This post was found on FB. Please read and share wherever you can!! Let's help bring this Nanny home!

Please help and share this post. This is my wife, Jen House Fulford. She went missing this morning, Sept 27th, around 9 am in Winter Park Florida. Her purse was found on the floor at her employer's house where she works as a nanny. Her boss called the police when she failed to pick up his son. She drives a 2014 Bronze Hyundai Santa Fe with Florida license plate# IKZB52. Her first granddaughter was born today and she is not responding to any text or phone calls. She was planning to fly to Dallas tomorrow to meet her new grandchild. She would never disappear like this. If you have any information about her please message me or contact the Winter Park Police Department at 407-644-1313. Her case number is 2017CJ015432. Please share this post.


Saturday

I am shocked- I goofed up the caterers' tip!

I was late for 1 hour to my MB's  event - a 3 hour event on a weekend at her country club, it was a good excuse, car related - and never been late in 3 years,  BUT - the event was at a major country club, My MB made sure to NOT TIP the workers at the CC - and they told me so,blamed on me. I am going into my savings to tip them, but I am wondering...

Monday

Dear Abby gives advice to Nannies...

The Daily Journal Online


DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old college graduate who has been unable to find a full-time teaching job, so I'm working as a teaching assistant. My salary is less than average, and between rent, bills and student loans, I am stretched more than thin.

Recently, a woman has been talking to me about nannying for her child after school. She'd like to hire me and have me meet her child in person, and we agreed on an hourly rate. I was excited about the opportunity and looking forward to starting.

This week she told me she wants to report my work for her on her taxes, which means I'll have to report as a freelancer and pay estimated quarterly taxes while I work for her. Abby, this is unheard of in the baby-sitting world! I have been baby-sitting from my preteens all the way through college, and never once have taxes ever been part of the conversation.

My mother says I shouldn't be upset because the woman is doing what she's supposed to as far as the IRS is concerned, but I feel shortchanged. Shouldn't she have been upfront about her intentions when we discussed my hourly rate? Am I wrong for asking her for more money per hour to make up for some of the taxes? -- AFTER-SCHOOL NANNY


DEAR NANNY: William R. Turner, CPA, says your mother is correct. Your prospective employer is obeying the law. She wants you to meet her child, negotiate an hourly rate and hire you as a NANNY, not as a baby sitter. Your new employer should have you fill out a form W-4 and pay you as an employee. Because payroll deductions will be taken out of your gross pay by your new employer, you should negotiate your hourly rate accordingly.


Need our readers opinions, do you think this is true or not?

Hi All,

SS here, and as we have told you in the past, we will post virtually everything that that is sent to us. Here is one we are not so sure about. Do any Nannies out there really have it this good?


So I got a position and have been here for 4 months. I get paid 70,000 a year for 3 kids, and do not work more than 35 hours a week. I get double my pay if and when I travel with them, own room/suite, spending money, food and a rental car if I want. I get 15 PTO days, plus an extra 2-3 weeks off if they travel and I don't go with them. ( Still paid of course). I also get a credit card with a credit limit of 50,000 on it if I want to buy lunch and dinner everyday, and if the kids need something. There is a yearly bonus and I get full access of their pool, and the gym they have downstairs in their home. I am very grateful. but wanted to hear what other people thought.